Testing...testing...1,2,3

At what age should you start to discipline your children? Jeff and I have been wondering this very thing lately.

The little man has started to test us. He knows that Homer's dish is off limits and yet everyday, several times a day, he makes a break for the dishes against the kitchen wall. We started by telling him "No." and would remove him from the area. Lately, we just have to say his name in a certain tone and he will change his course.

Just when we think he will leave the dishes alone, he pulls the old "I am pretending to crawl away from this dish, just to redirect myself towards the dish" routine. Then, we remove him from the area. (hiding our smiles as we do.)

Here is what baby center has to say about child discipline:

I am going to let you in on a little secret. Your baby is very smart. He knows exactly what he is doing when he looks over his shoulder at you before grabbing the cat's tail or hurling the remote control at you for the 20th time. It's called testing limits. Sounds familiar, no?!

At about 9 months of age, your baby understands the word, "No." He continues to do the same behavior over and over again because he wants to see if you really meant it when you said No! the first 19 times. This either a) leads a parent to believe that their child has no idea what No! means, or b) makes them think they failed in Parenting 101. Neither is true.

Your job is to teach your child what is appropriate behavior and what isn't. And, there are many strategies to accomplish this goal.

• Tip 1: Ignore it. A baby will repeat the same offense because it gets your attention. Example: Mommy screams when I yank her hair! Solution: Stop reacting. Or, calmly say, "No hair pulling," and put your baby down on the floor. Losing your attention is a very big deal. When the offense no longer gets the desired effect, your baby will stop doing it.


• Tip 2: Redirect. Example: Your baby pulls the cat's tail. Solution: Move your baby away from the cat or remove the cat from his play area. If there is no temptation, the offense won't happen (and you won't have to keep saying No!). We have also tried this, by putting Homer's dishes up on a table until bedtime but this isn't our ideal option.

• Tip 3: Teach natural consequences. Your baby learns when he realizes he controls his destiny. Example: Your baby likes throwing food off of his highchair. Solution: Mealtime is over. Your baby learns that food should be eaten and when he has a John Belushi food fight moment, he is telling you that he does not want to eat. (If he is truly hungry, he will change his behavior quickly.)


• Tip 4: Stay calm and be a good role model. Your baby is watching you and learns from what he sees.

We will continue to redirect the little guy away from the dog dishes. We are trying to use the word "No" in situations that are dangerous to him vs. when he is doing something he shouldn't. We hope this will help him understand immediate danger vs. blocking out the word "No" when we say it.

For example, when he pulls on my hair I say "We don't pull hair." This way he understands we don't do that vs. just hearing NO.

What are your tricks for discipline and how have they changed as your child has gotten older?